I WAS HERE. I LIVED, I LOVED.

On the 6th day left abroading, Europe gave to me...

#17- GELATO
#16- ABROAD SONGS
#15- PERSISTENT HAWKERS
#14- ITALIAN WEATHER
#13- ABROAD CONSTANTS
#12- #STUDYABROADPROBLEMS
#11- OLD STOVE PORCELLINO
#10- 3,991 MILES
#9- PARIS, FRANCE

#8- APPRECIATION OF WHAT'S TO COME

#7- MEETING UP WITH ABROAD FRIENDS

#6- BEING COMPLETELY SINGLE

Okay so I spent some time writing what I personally would have deemed a comical take on a very serious topic (there even was a it's britney... bitch joke), but half way through I realized I'm not half as funny as I think I am and this actually is an extremely influential reason for my growth as a person while abroad so I should leave a serious blogpost.

No need to rehash the past here, the past is in the past and I've learned from it. Truth and time tells all. That being said, I stepped on my plane August 29th?..30th?... wow I can't even remember what day I left it's been that long, anyways, with no reservations, no expectations, and no regrets ahead of me. I always wanted my abroad experience to focus on myself, but I never realized how much I truly needed it. I needed to get back to me and figure out what I want from life. I needed to stop thinking about myself in regards to others and their perceptions of me, I can't control how someone acts I can only control how I react.

Abroad life pretty much forced me to be void of all forms of not being alone, and I'm grateful for it. The issues of the fact that I am nearly 4,000 miles away from home, in a SUPER conservative country, in an even more conservative city, in a country I speak none of the language (still don't just ask me how to say strawberry in Italian...), and how I left with zero strings attached were obvious. Now fast forward to London (epic fail...twice), France (didn't have time to go out in Paris, then was in the gay capital of France Cannes and the cards just didn't work out not that Melissa didn't try and wasn't PISSED about it), and then Rome (blah). Nothing seemed to be in my favor which is something I have grown used to being gay, but this is no "im playing the victim card" bull cause I don't play those games I am just stating facts. 

The fact of the matter is I have spent the past 3 and a half months only focusing my attention on me. Yeah did I slip up a few times in the beginning caring too much about life back at Stonehill? Yes, it's a process. Rome wasn't built in a day (been there, done that). I have always thought the process of being broken down is healthy and makes a person stronger, and being abroad is one giant slap in the face of life. Being complete single while abroad has made me appreciate my friendships so much more. I have found the strength within myself that if I have to wait until I graduate Stonehill or even years after that, I genuinely feel I can because when I least expect it that person will make himself known. Never settle. Life is too damn short to not live your life to the fullest with people who care.

I'm assertive enough to know I deserve a Meredith Grey, someone who will make a ridiculous house out of candles, a Friends With Benefits Justin Timberlake to do a completely unrealistic flashmob to Closing Time, an Aaron Samuels to laugh at the fact I am a complete dork that would say grool (fun fact that actor from Mean Girls is gay in real life), I deserve Penn Badgley in Easy A. I'm so beyond aware of myself as a person now that you probably think I have a huge head, false. I am just a hell of a lot more confident about myself, and you should be about yourself too.

I've just begun (having my fun).

Now I discovered this about a week ago, since then I've been listening to Beyonce's album 4 pretty much nonstop since, but I think this is the type of mindset I know have about myself. I can acknowledge what I have accomplished thus far and what I want to accomplish for myself and the others I surround myself with. Enjoy the live version because it's so much better. 

The lyrics to the chorus resonate with my feelings about my abroad experience. I did so damn much while abroad and persevered through it all. Everything I wanted out of this experience I got, and then some. Were there things left undone and places I did not get to go to? Yes, but looking back and what I thought I could afford to get done I am amazed and the places I have seen, the people I have met, and the genuine life goals I have accomplish.

"I was here...
I lived, I loved
I was here...
I did, I've done everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be."

So yes, I was here. I was a lot of places, but this will only continue back in America even more so. I don't view myself as an "abroad dave" who will go back into his norms and routines back at Stonehill because that for damn sure is not going to happen. Dave 3.0 is wiser, more mature, more independent, more patient, more outgoing, more reserved, more self aware, more appreciative, and will soon be 21 so if you are expecting the David who left in August stepping off that Swiss Air plane in Boston this weekend, good luck finding him.

"I Was Here"

I wanna leave my footprints on the sands of time
Know there was something that, and something that I left behind
When I leave this world, I'll leave no regrets
Leave something to remember, so they won't forget

I was here...
I lived, I loved
I was here...
I did, I've done everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be
I will leave my mark so everyone will know
I was here...

I want to say I lived each day, until I died
I know that I had something in, somebody's life
The hearts I have touched, will be the proof that I lived
That I made a difference, and this world will see

I was here...
I lived, I loved
I was here...
I did, I've done everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be
I will leave my mark so everyone will know
I was here...

I was here...
I lived, I loved
I was here...
I did, I've done everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be
I will leave my mark so everyone will know
I was here...

I just want them to know
That I gave my all, did my best
Brought someone to happiness
Left this world a little better just because...

I was here...

I was here...
I lived, I loved
I was here...
I did, I've done everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be
I wanna leave my mark so everyone will know
I was here...
I lived (I lived), I loved
I was here...
I did (I did), I've done
I was here
I lived (I lived), I loved (I loved)
I was here... (oh)
I did, I've done

I was here...