To say I have been struggling with coming to terms with going abroad is such an understatement. I have grown into my own this past year to an extent I never thought I could imagine. I can honestly say I truly know who I am and what I want out of life, but that does not mean I plan on becoming complacent. I plan on only continuing my growth and what better way to do it then forcing myself to study abroad... in a foreign country which I know roughly 5 words of the language.
Working in admissions at Stonehill literally all summer I do not think I said I was a junior until my last few campus tours, clinging to what little time I have at college saying I was still a rising junior. The past semester of my sophomore year felt as if it was 4 years of college in itself. I went through a tremendous transition of solidifying my true friendships from freshman year and picking up new friendships that I know are just as strong and long lasting. I grew so much because of my gained personal experiences.
Sparknote version: I finally stopped caring about how anyone felt about me being gay, I knew my close friends were there to stay, I had my first real crush, I finally got my personal goal of becoming a Peer Mentor at Stonehill, had my first taste of heartache, dealt with an enormous amount of crap, continued to up my GPA with a semester best of 3.88, fell in love with my admissions job and being a student ambassador, literally had (so far) the best ten days of my entire life at Orientation with the O-Team and Group 24, had my first relationship, might have even fell in love, and now I am heading to Italy single and with the toughest skin I have even felt. Within only 8 months I have become a strong, self-assured person that is finally ready to go abroad.
Now the second part of my last statement is only half true, as the one who's always keeping it real, I may be in a mindset to leave and be gone, but I am still unfinished packing the night prior and will no doubt be put through the unknown (something I despise with a passion) on a daily basis in Florence. I need this experience more and more every time I quit avoiding thinking about this experience. I have been in denial as I have still been living, working, and Peer Mentoring at Stonehill. I cannot avoid this any longer. It's happening.
Although I have three of my closest friends coming to Florence with me (Alex, Courtney, and Lengel) which will make this nothing but better, I am struggling with letting go of my life at Stonehill. I haven't left Stonehill since I moved into the Sem exactly two years ago, (with working at the Hill both summers). Having now just moved some of the class of '15 into the Sem (shout out to my hardcore 24 Sem Kids) I have been so nostalgic realizing how much I really have come into my own in at Stonehill, but I will inevitably leave Italy kicking and screaming because as much as Stonehill has been the best times of my life, I know I will look back way later in life dreaming I was back abroad.
I wish I could write about every single person that has changed my life for even knowing them and having them as a friend and how much I will miss them, but I'm a floater so that would take to damn long and I am FINALLY ready to leave it all behind. I am doing this for me, and only me. I will be selfless, selfish, and adventurous. I will see things I have never seen before. I will accomplish life goals.
I will do anything and everything for the story. I will ask myself if it is worth running across a where the wind blows circle, then say screw it and do it anyways.
Imma do me, now all of you do you while I'm gone.
Deuces America, Ciao Italia.
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